Observation

A professor teaching medicine at the university was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste." After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth. After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth." Lesson learned!

Stopped by the police

John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, "I'm very sorry officer, I didn't realize it was out, I'll get it fixed right away."
Just then Jessica said, "I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed."
So the officer asked for John's license and after looking at it said, "Sir your license has expired."
And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn't realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning.
Jessica said, "I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired."
Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, "Jessica, shut your mouth!" The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked. "Does your husband always talk to you like that?"
Jessica replied, "only when he's drunk."

Rational Thinking

Ramesh and Suresh were both in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ramesh suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Suresh promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom and pulled Ramesh out.
When the hospital director became aware of Suresh's heroic act, she immeidately ordered that Suresh be discharged from the hospital because he now is considered to be mentally stable.
The director went to Suresh and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping the pool to save the life of another patient. Your action displays soundness of mind."
"The bad news is that Ramesh, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Suresh replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. When can I go home?"

Lunar Eclipse

A listener called the disc jockey on the air at our radio station to ask about the upcoming lunar eclipse. "The eclipse can be seen at 1:30 in the morning," the DJ told her.
"That late?" the listener snapped. "I don't know why they don't schedule these things earlier, so kids can enjoy them too!"

Super Grooooooooooooooooooooooom!

Once a there were some parents looking for a Bride to their son, from the bride side they been asked, "what does the Groom do(profession)" it was told by the groom parents that "He is such a respectful person in the Chennai,in ways that even person around him were respecting him were ever he goes,no matter wht he do in his social service life, ever one look at him raising there eye brow,saying that "what a guts!" He was so respectful that Goverment decided to patron him to drive his vehicle Without Licence,how ever even while his way back home traffic police man, scared of him, he was never been stopped nor was stopped" The Bride was so curious to know what do he do?

It was replied he is "ROAD ROLLER DRIVER"